


Hate to Say Goodbye

by wallywestie



Series: It's Meaningless Without You [1]
Category: Free!
Genre: Angst?, Car Accidents, Future Fic, M/M, but its sad, haru and Makoto love each other so much, its sad, not super sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-08
Updated: 2018-01-08
Packaged: 2019-03-02 01:37:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13307667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wallywestie/pseuds/wallywestie
Summary: Haruka hates saying goodbye to Makoto.Makoto hates saying goodbye to Haruka.





	Hate to Say Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> So my first makoharu fic and I'm surprised it turned out so long? I'm also surprised it took me this long to contribute to the fandom. I'm really happy with this though!
> 
> You can find me on tumblr @ wallywestie.tumblr.com

Haruka hated leaving Makoto. Makoto has been in his life for as long as he can remember and leaving him was always hard. It was always Haru and Makoto and when it became _Haru and_ _Makoto_ , leaving him was that much harder. Instead of a simple, “I’ll see you when you get back Haru!”, it was a “I’ll miss you Haru.”, and a kiss goodbye. It was full of the things they rarely said to each other. The L word wasn’t something said often. They _knew_ how they felt for each other. They have known since they were kids. There was no reason for them to say it aloud. Why should they waste their time saying something they already know?

Makoto loves Haruka and Haruka loves Makoto. It’s simple.

And this is what Haruka thought about while he took his bath that evening. Tomorrow morning, he would be flying out to America for a competition. And that meant leaving Makoto for a week. He doesn’t think they’ve been apart for that long since his trip to Australia with Rin, and even then, he didn’t even get to say goodbye to Makoto as they had had a fight before he left. That was almost 5 years ago.

And this is why when he heard his boyfriend call his name, he slipped further down in the tub till his head was fully submerged under the water.

Makoto hated when Haru had to go. They had been best friends for as long as he can remember and he was always a lot clingier to Haru than he’d like to admit. And now that him and Haru are _together_ (it was bound to happen), watching him leave was a lot harder. He used to just smile and tell Haru that he’ll see him when he gets back but now there’s so much more. There’s the silence that comes before, the silent plea that he doesn’t have to go, but they both know he has to. And then there’s pulling each other close until their inches apart and Makoto can feel Haru’s breath on his face. And then Makoto is saying, “I’ll miss you Haru.” And Haru is kissing him because he was always more action than words. And Makoto both hated and loved their kiss goodbye. It was always full of passion and words they rarely said, but it also meant that this was the last time they would be with each other for a while.

 

Makoto sighed as he didn’t hear his boyfriend respond. This was how their last nights always started. Makoto coming home from work or simply from running errands and when he called for Haru, he almost never replied. Makoto kicked off his shoes before going into the bathroom.

“I’m coming in Haru.” As soon as he stepped in, the water splashed and Haru popped out of the water. A quick glance at the hamper, Makoto concluded that Haru was not wearing his swimsuit which meant that he was actually naked in the tub. It was a rare occasion for Haru to wear his suit in the bath now as they both had access to the community pool and if he felt the need to go for a swim, he could do so freely. So now, Makoto knew Haru only took baths when he was upset or stressed about something.

He smiled softly at Haru, reaching out his hand for him to take. Once he helped him up, Makoto tossed his towel onto Haru’s head saying, “I brought dinner, I’ll set it up while you get dressed.” He got a quiet hum in response before leaving the bathroom. It was their favourite meals from their favourite takeout restaurant. He dished it out onto plates, pouring them some water before sitting at the table, waiting for his boyfriend to come out.

Soon enough, Haru emerged in the doorway, his towel on his head loosely. He sat down at the table before looking up and mumbling a quiet, but audible, “thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Makoto replied before beginning to eat his own meal. Last dinners were always quiet, but this one was different, and neither man knew why.

After dinner, Haruka helped Makoto with the dishes before both boys retired to the couch to watch a movie. Haruka had to get up early in the morning, but he wanted to spend as much time as possible with Makoto. They flipped on one of their favourite movies, before moving closer together. Haruka was leaning against Makoto before deciding that he was always a lot more comfortable lying down with his head resting in Makoto’s lap, as Makoto’s hand carded through it lightly. As the movie went on, Haruka’s eyes started getting heavy and before he knew it, he was being carried towards the bedroom. He leaned into Makoto’s chest, never wanting to let go. But he knew he had to as Makoto lied him on their bed. As far as he could tell, Makoto thought he was still sleeping as he tried to be as quiet as possible as he changed. The last thing Haruka saw was Makoto plugging in their phones.

~

Haruka sat on the plane more upset than he usually was when he left for a competition.

“Haru? Are you okay?” Rin asked, noticing that Haru’s usual neutral expression was sadder. Haruka just turned to look out the window. No, he wasn’t okay. They never got to say goodbye.

~

Three more days, that’s all Makoto had to wait until he got to see his boyfriend again. Three more days and then he would get to hold him and kiss him and tell him how much he missed him. They never got to say goodbye and Makoto couldn’t wait until they got to say hello again.

Him and Haru had decided a while back that after his competition they would go back to Iwatobi to visit their friends and family. Nagisa, Rei and Gho were supposed to visit as well. Makoto being lonely, decided to go up a few days earlier, to spend a few days with his family before it got hectic with having to schedule something with everyone. When Makoto told Haru that he was going back to Iwatobi early, Haru quickly changed his return flight from Tokyo to Iwatobi. His talks with Haru were always short as there was time differences, as well as Haru going into practice or competitions.

At the moment Makoto was driving back from the grocery store towards his childhood home. His mom had asked him to grab some thing for dinner that night while she was at work. He was almost home but before he knew it, he heard a loud horn and then everything went black.

~

Haruka scrunched his eyebrows together when his facetime didn’t connect with Makoto. They had planned to talk at that specific time. Why wasn’t he picking up? Maybe he fell asleep? It was late in Japan. Yeah, he must of fell asleep. He texted him telling him that practice wasn’t going very late that day and to text him when he woke up and that they could talk then.

That night when he still hadn’t heard anything back from Makoto he began to worry. Makoto always answered Haruka’s texts. Why wasn’t he answering?

“Haru? What’s wrong?”

“Makoto.”

“What about Makoto? What’s wrong?”

“He’s not answering his phone.”

“Maybe he’s busy?” Haru shook his head, trying to think of a possible reason why Makoto wouldn’t have answered him. It was after 11 AM there and he knew Makoto wouldn’t sleep that late, especially when he was with his family. He couldn’t very well call his family. The charges would be far too great. He would have to wait it out. But he was definitely changing his flight from the day after tomorrow to tomorrow night after his last race. He hoped Makoto would get back to him sometime before then.

~

When Haru stepped into the pickup area of the airport he was expecting Makoto to be waiting for him, but instead he was greeted by Rei and Nagisa. Both had sad-looking expressions on their face.

“Haru-chan!” Nagisa exclaimed, trying to put up a front.

“Where’s Makoto?” Haru asked, ignoring the way Nagisa clung to him like he did whenever he greeted him.

“Haruka-senpai, Makoto-senpai has been in an accident.” Haru’s eyes widen as the words left Rei’s mouth. He pushed past them speed walking towards the exit. Makoto was hurt? Makoto was in an accident? Why didn’t anyone tell him? Why didn’t anyone tell him that his best friend, his _boyfriend_ was in an accident? He stopped in his tracks, turning to face the two younger men behind him.

“Why didn’t anyone tell me?”

“We didn’t want to worry you. You had been working hard for your competition. We didn’t want you to have to worry.”

“I’d give up any race for Makoto. It’s _Makoto_. Someone should have told me.” He was upset that no one told him, but right now he just wanted to see Makoto.

Once they reached the hospital, Haru wasted no time in heading up to Makoto’s room. When he got there the scene broke his heart. His boyfriend was lying in the bed looking pale and he was covered in bruises, scratches, and bandages. There was one wrapped around his head and Haruka could feel the tears falling from his eyes. This wasn’t supposed to happen. They were apart for a week. He was supposed to be greeted at the airport by Makoto. He was supposed to walk up to Makoto and kiss him like it’s been years. They never got to say goodbye. He never got to hear Makoto say, “ _I miss you_.” And he never got to kiss him with all the things he rarely said. They never got share a goodbye.

And now, he’s looking at Makoto sleeping in a hospital bed with bandages, bruises and tubes in him. This wasn’t supposed to happen.

“Haruka?” Haru’s thoughts were cut off by the familiar, soft voice of Makoto’s mother. He turned around, seeing her tired, red eyes. The stress of this taking its toll on her. Haruka didn’t know what came over him but soon he was wrapped in her arms as he cried into her shoulder. “I know honey, he’ll be okay. It’s okay.” She said, hugging him tighter.

“What happened?” He asked, once he pulled away, going over and sitting beside Makoto. He took his hand into his, kissing it before tears began to leave his eyes once again.

“He was driving back from the grocery store and then a drunk driver came out of nowhere.” She replied, pulling up a chair beside him. “But he’ll be okay. The doctor said he had a concussion, a broken wrist and some bruising. But it’s nothing that he won’t make a smooth recovery from. I know it must be scary, but he will be okay.”

“Has he woken up yet?” she shook her head.

“Not yet, but the doctors said that’s normal.” Haruka nodded, squeezing his hand.

“Are you hungry?” Haru didn’t respond, just keeping his eyes glued to his boyfriend. “I’m going to grab some coffee, I’ll grab you something for when you’re hungry later.” Tachibana-san left the room, leaving Haruka alone with Makoto.

Haruka sat there, his hand enclosed with Makoto’s. He didn’t say anything, didn’t know what to say. Could Makoto even hear him? He fought the tears threatening to spill again. He hated seeing him like this. Makoto was too sweet for this. He was all smiles, and supportive and a bit of a scaredy cat. Makoto didn’t deserve this. He didn’t deserve to be in an accident.

Haruka stood up, leaning over Makoto, being careful not to jostle his chords. He moved his bangs out of the way before kissing him on the forehead and whispering, “I love you Makoto.” When he pulled back he noticed that Makoto’s breath was shallower than it should be. It was also a lot slower than it should be. Haruka got up looking for a nurse, or a doctor or someone. His Makoto was hurt and no one was around. He pushed the button to call the nurse when suddenly something started beeping and Haruka knew that wasn’t good. He looked outside the door, calling for help and a doctor came from the next room over, followed by a nurse and began examining Makoto.

“His breathing is shallow. How long ago was he checked up on?” Haruka just realized that the question was directed at him.

“I don’t know, I just got here. His mother went down to get coffee.”

“I think he should be fine, he was just having some trouble breathing. We’re going to get some tests done to see why okay? We’ll be right back.” Haruka just nodded, watching as they wheeled him out of the room. He had to be okay. It couldn’t be that serious. He should be _fine_. The doctor said it wasn’t that bad. He should make a smooth recovery. That’s what he was told, that’s what he would believe.

A few minutes later, Rei and Nagisa walked in.

“Where’s Makoto-senpai?” Rei asked, noticing that it was only Haruka sitting in his room.

  
“Testing. His breathing was shallow.” They both nodded, looming in the doorway. There was only one more chair, and neither knew what to say.

“Haru-chan are you okay?” Nagisa asked, moving closer and sitting on the chair where Mrs. Tachibana was sitting just 10 minutes before. Haruka ignored him. No, he wasn’t _okay_. Why would he be okay? Makoto was hurt. Why would anyone be okay in this situation? “Haru? Haru-chan?” Nagisa kept asking.

“Nagisa stop-”Rei started before Haruka cut him off.

“No, I’m not okay? Why would I be okay through all this? Makoto got hurt and no one thought to tell me? I was left in the dark worried for him. He has been my best friend since I was 3! Of course, I’m not okay!” Haruka almost yelled, before leaving the room in a haste.

“Haru!” Nagisa went to go after him but was stopped short by Rei.

“Let him calm down. We all know what Makoto means to him. He’ll be back. It’s hard for him, it’s hard for all of us. Let’s wait outside for Tachibana-san.”

~

When Haruka went back to Makoto’s room, the twins had joined his mother. He remembers the days when the two of them would jump on him and Makoto, demanding them to play with them. Now they were about to start high school. It seemed like just yesterday he and Makoto had graduated but it wasn’t. Haruka was swimming at the international level and Makoto had been working at their local swim club as a swim instructor.

“Haru!” Ren exclaimed when he saw him in the doorway. Haruka nodded before going in and standing on the other side of the bed the Tachibana’s stood.

“How is he?” He asked, knowing he probably should have greeted them properly, but he knows that they understand.

“He’s good. They said he was getting too much morphine. So, they just adjusted how much he was getting. It was good that you were here Haruka.” Tachibana-san told him, a small smile on her face. Haruka could tell that she was stressed and upset over this but she was trying to put up a front in consideration of the twins. They were 15, but it was still hard to see your older brother in a hospital bed.

“Will he wake up soon?”

“They said it’s hard to tell.” Haruka just nodded, taking Makoto’s hand in his. “Your friends went to go get something to eat, why don’t you join them?” She suggested. Haruka just shook his head. He refused to leave Makoto. The last time they were separated this happened. Haruka wouldn’t leave Makoto’s side until he was certain he would be okay.

Haruka was always protective of Makoto. There’s been one too many times where he’s almost lost him. There was the time when they were in middle school and his mother told Haruka that they had to move. He was afraid he would have to say goodbye to his best friend. Luckily, his mother let him stay in Iwatobi. There was their fight right before they graduated. Haruka thought he messed it up for good then. He had said things he didn’t mean and then he had gone to Australia with Rin before talking to him about it. And then there was the scariest one. Back in their second year of high school when Makoto almost drowned. He was worried from the moment that Gho suggested they do the training camp. He kept asking Makoto if he was okay with it and Makoto was such a people pleaser that he convinced everyone but Haruka that he was okay with it. Haruka never wanted something like that to happen again. That’s another reason why he hated leaving Makoto. When he was away, he couldn’t protect Makoto. And he _knows_ that Makoto is capable of handling himself, but Haruka still worries.

And now, he refused to leave Makoto’s side until he was better.

“Come on Ran, Ren, let’s go join Nagisa and Rei.” Tachibana-san said, getting up and lightly inching her children out of the room.

“Take care of big brother Haru!” Ran said as they walked out of the room.

“I will.” He responded, taking a seat beside Makoto.

He wished Makoto would wake up soon. He rested his head on the bed, closing his eyes just for a moment. He was tired, but he didn’t want to sleep in case Makoto woke up. He wanted to be there when he woke up. He would just close his eyes for a moment.

~

Haruka woke up to fingers softly running through his hair. He sat up quickly looking at Makoto to see him smiling at him with the smile that was reserved for Haruka only.

“ _Makoto_.” He breathed out.

“Haru-chan.” Haruka watched the way Makoto’s eyes sparkled before he engulfed him in a hug, lightly of course. He felt arms wrap around him, pulling him closer and holding him tighter. “I missed you.” When they pulled away, there was tears in Haruka’s eyes again. “Don’t cry Haru.”

“Makoto can’t do that.”

“Haru, I- “

“Don’t make worry so much.”

“I’m sorry- “

“Not your fault.” Makoto smiled again, wiping the tear that fell from Haruka’s eye. He needs to stop crying so much. “I was scared. No one told me what happened until I got here.” Makoto didn’t say anything, he knew that Haru was worried, that he hated being out of the know when it came to anyone close to him.

“I’m okay now though.”

“Makoto’s okay.”

“Makoto’s okay.” Makoto repeated scooting over, a silent invitation for Haru to sit beside him. They haven’t seen each other in over a week, they were both yearning for the other’s touch. Haru climbed in slowly, wrapping his arms around Makoto’s torso and lying his head on his chest.

  
They lied there in silence for a few minutes just taking in the other’s presence. Haruka was glad that Makoto was okay and Makoto was happy to have Haruka in his arms again.

“Hey Haru,” he got a quiet “hmm” in response. “We never got to say goodbye.” Makoto smirked. Haruka knew what Makoto meant by that. He meant that they never got to kiss goodbye and he had that teasing smirk on his face but he also had a look in his eyes that spoke so much more. Both him and Makoto were upset over not being able to say goodbye, not being able to show what the two rarely said aloud.

Haruka sat up, cupping Makoto’s face with his hands, before leaning down and connecting their lips. Haruka kissed him like it’s been years since they’ve seen each other. It was desperate, but slow and full of emotion. He kissed him to make sure Makoto understood how much he missed him, how much he was worried for him, how _scared_ he was. He’s been too close to losing Makoto to not kiss Makoto like this.

Makoto pulled away, Haru chasing the kiss. Makoto chuckled as Haru continued kissing him, short quick pecks. “Haru, someone might see.” He whispered between kisses.

“Don’t care.” He mumbled back, kissing Makoto once again before Makoto pulled away completely.

“I love you, Haru-chan.”

“Drop the –chan.” Haru responded looking to the side, something he’s always done. “I love you too Makoto.” He said barely audible. Makoto smiled about to pull Haru in for another kiss until he heard a loud, “Mako!” followed by Nagisa, Rei and Makoto’s family walking into his room. Haru got off the bed, standing to the side while everyone talked to him, and the nurses did a checkup.

He would get his time with Makoto when everyone went home. Haruka was not leaving Makoto’s side.

~

Months later when Haruka had another competition, he didn’t have to say goodbye to Makoto. This time, Makoto was coming with him.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading this! I appreciate any feedback on it! You can request some more makoharu on my blog @ wallywestie!
> 
> Thank you again for reading!


End file.
